How I'm Working Through Holiday Blues | Thinkwell Issue #6

Learn why humans don't do well in solitude, the danger of deadlines, and my tips for breaking out of a funk.

Hello!

That’s right! I’m back in the UK! On a spontaneous whim I returned earlier than planned, so I spent the tail end of last week navigating the administrative hellscape that is travelling during covid times.

I’m glad the holidays are over, too. Everything feels like it unravels around Christmas, and I need structure in my life. I’m taking on a new project which is going to keep me in the UK for about 4 weeks; I’ll be launching a cocktail menu at a local restaurant 🍸

Would you be interested in my experience and learnings from a project like this?

On thriving as a nomad 🍃

I learned something about myself this Christmas.

I was staying just outside of Heraklion, during off-season. Most shops and restaurants were closed for the winter, and the few people around were locals getting on with their business. In fact, I learned a few weeks in that I was the only person staying in the entire apartment complex.

To begin with, I loved this.

I’m an extrovert but being introverted feels like healing to me, and I’d never experienced solitude like this before.

As the weeks weeks went by, I loved it less.

Like everyone, I’m prone to low moods and anxiety and my solitude left me feeling more mentally unwell than I have in a long time. It could be because I have a lot to be stressed about right now, but I don’t think so.

Since I was the only person around, my low mood fed itself. There was nobody to interact with to break the cycle of rumination. I was my own worst company.

Humans are social creatures because we depend on interaction with other humans to survive. In the hunter-gatherer era this was obvious. Only through collaboration were we able to develop such concepts as farming and economy.

In modern society, the importance of social interaction isn’t so clear. We don’t strictly “need” other people to survive but we see and interpret the world through the filter of other people.

We measure our morals and alignment, our strengths and weaknesses, our likes and dislikes, all against the people around us.

When you take that social infrastructure away life feels like writing on unruled paper. You’re free, but it’s harder to keep things neat and tidy.

On building a business of one 🤹🏾‍♂️

Deadlines are tricky.

They’re a useful tool for keeping yourself accountable, but if not used correctly they can end up being nothing but a source of anxiety. I would know.

Before I set off on my travels and launched my business, I set myself a runway. I had until the end of February to “achieve lift off”. This fast-approaching deadline has been stressing me out so much. There have been times where my mind has felt threadbare and ragged because I don’t think it’s possible for me to “achieve lift off” by the end of February.

But what the heck does that even mean?

Have one client? Completely achievable.

Have multiple clients? Also completely achievable?

Have a sustainable income? Impossible. I’m a freelancer, my income is never going to be reliable.

Make enough money to last the rest of my life? Impossible. Nearly. Probably.

Make enough money to last to the end of March? Already done.

Be satisfied with my life and business? It would be lovely, but I doubt I’ll ever feel this way. It’s not me.

My point is, I set myself an arbitrary deadline and didn’t define the criteria for success, so success was unachievable from the get-go, and that deteriorated my happiness through the holidays.

The worst part is- I’ve already learned this lesson! I’ve even written about this! It took lunch with a friend and mentor for me to realise it, though.

The moral of the story is this: most of the time we have the answers we need, but we’re very good at hiding it from ourselves. Sometimes it pays to go back to the basics.

On creating content that impacts 💥

Since I started working again post-xmas, I’ve repeatedly sat at whatever ramshackle flat space I’m using as a desk and struggled.

To write, to create, to be productive. Just struggled.

Getting back into gear after the holidays isn’t something I’ve struggled with before, but this newsletter is the first significant piece of writing I’ve completed this year and I’ve resisted writing it for a day and a half now, so how did I break out of the funk, glue myself to my keyboard and get these words on this page in this order?

I stepped away from my laptop and did these two things:

Inspire myself

If you’re experiencing a blocker on creating, take a step back and consume.

That doesn’t mean you should scroll through Reddit or Twitter. Consume good content.

Read non-fiction. Check out blogs, articles, and newsletters from creators you love. Look for people who are doing what you want to do and killing it. Inhale their great content (and let them know about it, we love that).

Energise mind and body

This morning I spent 90 minutes trying to write this newsletter and getting nowhere.

Then I got up and spent 15 minutes doing yoga, another 15 minutes meditating, breathing, letting my thoughts and feelings wash over me.

I wrote in my journal, expressing my frustrations and getting them out of my head and heart, and onto the page.

I threw on some headphones and put on some lofi instrumental music. I sat quietly for a while and focused on the music. Pictured myself in different places around the world that make me happy.

I spent another hour not writing, but since then I’ve cracked out this 1000-word newsletter in about 40 minutes and I’ve enjoyed doing it.

Here are a few of the things that make me feel energised and motivated:

·        Conversations with peers

·        Walks in nature

·        Vigorous exercise

·        Doing something scary

·        Meditating

·        Music

·        Journaling

My challenge for you this week is to make your own list and keep it handy. Consult it next time you catch yourself procrastinating and see if you can energise yourself enough to ensure the rest of your day is a good one.

Goodbye!

P.S. If you’re in the UK and want to meet up while I’m here, drop me a line 📞